i want to be a bus driver when i grow up just so i can run people over
beep beep mother fuckers
oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
i’m not like most girls. my head snaps back and a giant pez candy emerges from my throat
- me in every situation: im too hardcore for this
a brand of kinky candy named S&M&M’s
Anon or not and make me choose between:
- Band: ________ or ___________?
- Food: ________ or _________?
- Singer: ________ or ___________?
- Song: __________ or __________?
- Character: ________ or ___________ ?
my 12 year old stepson just handed me a literal wad of cash and said “buy yourself somethin nice”
it is like 400 dollars
where did he get it
what is
what
what
what
what
w h a t
